Schnorbert G. Willikers
Placeholder person
Series Life with Lamarr
First appearance A Holiday Special
Appearances Book Three: Land Sakes
Book Four: The House of Longfigger

Character HistoryEdit

Schnorbert Gilligan Willikers is a fruit-vendor based in City 17, although when first spotted he was selling fruit in City 17's Italian equivalent, possibly as a sort of busman's holiday. He is bald, aged about 29 and wears the usual blue overalls.

These are entirely secondary characteristics, however, as the first thing one notices about Schnorbert is his nose. Not unlike Cyrano de Bergerac it is outstandingly long. Although not especially misshapen, it protrudes no less than 8 inches from his face. Unsurprisingly Schnorbert does not suffer attention focussed on his nose gladly. If he suspects it is under scrutiny he is quite prepared to challenge the offender to a fight and very often wins, except in cases where he has fallen foul of local law enforcement.

Schnorbert does consider himself mentally and physically a cut above the average citizen and never fails to register hurt surprise when his nose become a bone of contention.

Book Three: Land SakesEdit

Schnorbert featured in a one-off 'holiday special', selling fruit in Italy. As usual, he ended up in a fight after Kleiner was reduced to speechlessness at the sight of his profound nose.

Book Four: The House of LongfiggerEdit

Schnorbert reappeared in this arc as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, where he treated Barney with mild derision as befits a 'newfag'. Unfortunately he was restricted in the missions he could volunteer for as most of them demanded a measure of anonymity, and due to his distinctive nose Schnorbert was easily recognisable. He was not pleased when he worked this out.


  • Schnorbert was the result of an experiment in mesh-alteration by Co, who was seeking ways to get more characters out of Half-Life 2's very limited array of people. Schnorbert was his first success and amused him so much he adopted him as a permanent character in the Life with Lamarr universe. Another example of Co's alteration experiments is the living version of Roderick Thanatos - who began as exactly the same model as Schnorbert.

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