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Main characters[]
Supporting characters[]
Recurring or one-off characters listed by order of introduction.
Book One: The Headcrab King[]
- Xavier Ben Dibble-Redshirt - Worked for a small detective agency, was later killed with lasers.
- Mr. Nibbles - A T-Rex clone created by Arne Magnusson, however due to the age of the DNA he suffers from various genetic diseases.
- Noodles - A headcrab raised by Magnusson himself to serve as his body guard, is green due to a diet of cabbages and lime Jell-o, is also skilled with Katanas.
- Billy Bullsquid - Street musician to the people of City 17, likes to sing protest songs about Dr. Breen.
Book Two: The Free Children's Commune[]
- Brother Peaches - A member of the Free Children's Commune, is a leader in time of crisis.
- Sparkle Cow - Peaches' "main babe", knows how to handle bazookas.
- Brother Bluebell - A member of the Children's commune who has a slight ghetto accent.
- Dog - Alyx's faithful companion, still in his early stages he is nothing but a waffle shooting toaster.
- Gordon Freeman - Legendary hero and physicist, went into a coma when he consumed some Triple-H hash.
- Slim Pickles - A gag character, who only ever speaks the same line: "Best Breencast EVER!"
Book Three: Land Sakes[]
- Mitchum - A bad-tempered Houndeye belonging to Melanie Land.
- Jango - One of Obadiah's cronies
- Ned Land - Melanie's adulterous Irish husband.
- Bazza and Gazza - A pair of Combine officers who were originally from New Zealand but talk in an Australian accent.
- Schnorbert G. Willikers - City 17's unusually-nosed oddity.
Book Four: The House of Longfigger[]
- Hugh Chube - A man obsessed with the copyright violating Pingu Man.
- Pingu Man - A man who for whatever reason dresses as Pingu.
- The Xen Pubic Louse - An alien sexually-transmitted parasite. Possibly the most feared STD in the universe.
- Laszlo - Leader of Alcoholics Anonymous.