Baron von Tailfeathers
Series Life with Lamarr
First appearance In which Breen dyes
Appearances Book Three: Land Sakes
Book Four: The House of Longfigger

The Baron is a mere pigeon however some evidence suggests that he may be the physical embodiment of chaos itself. Although he appears to bring destruction upon all those around him, he especially torments Peter Orniphobe, the only citizen of City 17 who claims to realise the pigeon's potential for mayhem. Despite this, the Baron never seems to bring retribution down upon Peter directly, probably as he enjoys watching Peter's desperate and scoffed-at attempts to convince others and the authorities of the menace the bird poses to what remains of human civilisation.

This is all entirely theoretical. There has never been any hard evidence in "Life with Lamarr" that the pigeon has ever diliberately caused chaos or that it possesses any intelligence at all. It is quite possible that The Baron merely has a knack for being in the area when disaster strikes.

It's more than likely that Peter is simply as mad as a sponge-cake.

Character HistoryEdit

Pre-Life with LamarrEdit

Nothing is known of the Baron's life before he appeared as a (literally) fully-fledged pigeon. Even with common pigeons it is uncertain, no matter how full the city's skies may be of them, if baby ones actually exist or pigeons just pop into existence fully-formed somewhere.

When Roderick attempted to take off with some money the Baron landed on a thumper and turned it off allowing Roderick to be attacked by Antlions, whether he was simply cleaning his beak or a deliberate act is not known.

Book Three: Land SakesEdit

We first meet the Baron when we see Peter Orniphobe examining the instructions on the side of a can of wood dye. The pigeon lands on the suspended door Peter is sitting on, much to the latter's rage and then manages to fly safely away when Peter attempts to grab him. In the attempt Peter knocks most of the wood dye over the edge, unfortunately for Doctor Breen.

The Baron pops up again when Peter is trying to help Doctor Breen wash the wood dye away, sitting on the window-sill of Peter's flat looking in. With a cry Peter hurls a paint tin at the bird, but the paint bounces away from the window, the Baron once again flies free and Doctor Breen is covered in white paint from the ricochet.

Book Four: The House of LongfiggerEdit

The Baron is due to make some guest appearances in book four.


  • Although the Pigeon ragdoll can be positioned for 'flight', positioning it while standing is next to impossible. Therefore, whenever the Baron is featured a pigeon NPC is created, set to ignore the player so it doesn't take off. It then has to be dropped in the required area of the map and allowed to go through its simple animation cycle - walk a bit, peck, look to the left, walk a bit, look to the right, etc. Needless to say, the Baron is rather fiddly to get in the right place in the right position at the right time.